Maduka University

Dear Bunmi, she wanted love-making with me, not marriage

I lost my wife a few years ago in an unfortunate motor accident and had made up my mind to re-marry. We were married for over 20 years and she was a good mother to our three boys.
Late last year, I was introduced to a divorced lady at a close friend’s birthday party, and we hit things off right away.The love-making was good, and I was already toying with the idea of proposing marriage.

Then, all of a sudden, her attitude changed. Thinking she wanted re-assurance, I had a talk with her that she had my undivided love and I would do anything to make her happy.

You can then imagine how shocked I was when she said all she wanted was the physical side of the relationship. That she had no wish to re-marry and that I had better start shopping for a wife material!

What type of woman behaves like this? It would have been understandable if she were a frivolous teenager, but she’s close to 40.

What are our women turning into?

Alaba, by e-mail.

Dear Alaba,

Women often feel that they are the only ones that are used and dumped by men, but your experience shows that some women can be ruthless in the pursuit of what they want.

What, to you, was a big romance was obviously a casual fling to this woman – now she’s telling you to get a life!

Lasting relationships are built on friendship and shared ideas and dreams; not just love-making.

Without these feelings, you soon realise you’re saddled with someone you don’t really know after the love-making cools.

Keep your dignity. Try to wash this woman off your life and look for another woman out there eager to make a commitment.



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